flametheif40

That's basically my point.

Be aware of where your feelings are coming from and where they might lead you.

Because as bad as pain is, sometimes avoiding is it worse.

Easier said then done.

I've done nothing but run, and when the city was under attack, I tried to fight for once.

I was just as powerless then, as when everything else happened to me.

Derek disappears, I can't even have a conversation with him anymore.

The city is under attack, I just get in the way and got shot by a cannon for my trouble, endangering more people instead of saving them.

I lost a family, ran away from the police. I couldn't deal with my other one, so I ran away from that.

WHEN DOES THAT CHANGE!?

when you stop running.

so you got your ass kicked this time. fine. next time you'll be a bit better.

know your limits with your powers. know those limits, but push them.

it's okay to need help from other people. and it's okay to not be strong enough.

i'm a squshy baseline human. a shot from a cannon would kill me.

No, it's not okay.

How is having to lean on other people okay at all!?

HELL! How is THIS OKAY!?

I survived that shot, cause someone else had to hold me and take the brunt of that shot for me!

Even though I screamed too...she had to hate me, some punk that wanted to be a hero and just got in the way and made her use her magic to protect me, when I was supposed to give her covering fire.

I NEED my magic to work! I can't afford to just be on the ground and just watch! Not again!

[Tatsuo is about six seconds from finding Al and slapping him upside the head]

stop pitying yourself

it's disrespectful to yourself and disrespectful to anyone who fights with you

it's okay to lean on other people because WE. ARE. NOT. GODS.

we are human. even you lot with magic. we're human and thus we have weaknesses.

if you need your magic to work, THEN FIGURE OUT HOW IT WORKS.

until then, stay out of the fights if you're going to have this kind of attitude

can't afford to just be on the ground? you think those of us with no magic do nothing?

IM TRYING AND IT FUCKING HURTS! ALL OF IT!

This FUCKING storm inside!
The gunshots that still ring even though I held the body a long time ago
These broken pieces that just keep falling through my fingers

Even with magic, I can't seem to put those pieces back together...

Edited (Rewrote the end slightly so it's less poetic, also took out a bit of the start for more emotional impact) 2018-09-20 02:13 (UTC)

Al, you can't always put those pieces back together yourself. Sometimes you need help.

I guess your right...but damn it why is this so hard?

Because trauma is never easy to deal with.

Never sat down and thought of it as "trauma", just "crap that happens".

I'm alive, I have a family. Hell, even though I almost got eaten by a T-Rex(thank God for smarties) I'm pretty sure I don't wanna run from here.

So why do I still feel like at any moment I might need to jump ship? Isn't two years enough to settle in?

Sometimes, but not always. Feeling safe and 'settled in,' as you put it, is a very individual thing. It was a couple years before I really settled into the orphanage.

Oh? So, taking a while isn't abnormal?

No, it's not. And you can't measure your own progress against someone else's.

Oh...so, even if it's over something say...three or four years ago...it would still be okay?

The trama thing...and...I suppose my last family too, they...made things worse...

Yeah, it'd be okay, Al.

I'm sorry your last family was so shitty.

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