[He takes some deep breaths and looks at the ground]

I had no good reason to...

I thought today I might be able to do some good when I saw her, her first day on the job, she seemed really nervous when I walked in.

So I wanted to say nice things to calm her down, and ..well..I probably screwed up...so she rightfully got mad...

For a moment, I was just fed up with everything and took it out on her. I thought, "If I can't do this right, maybe I can just do wrong and feel better".

But, even as I said it, it felt wrong...and I was getting angrier because it wasn't working, that for once I wasn't on the receiving end and someone else had to deal with the consequences.

[Tears start to flow from his eyes]

When you slapped me, I realized just how much like my birth dad I was acting like, and wanted to die, rather then turn out like him.